Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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