It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
