My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
