three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
they're like a gay fantastic four
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
