She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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