Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
