New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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