Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
