This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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