I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
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He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
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Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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