I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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