Soap is not a condiment
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize