Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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