He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
