Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
