I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize