She announced her abortion via fbk
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
