And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
