you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
