Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
