Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
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