We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
