we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize