Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
