you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
