she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
