Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
