The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
