why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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