the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
