we have pet lesbian snakes
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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