the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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