let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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