Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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