Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Im part way to drunk.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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