Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
