How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
