Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
