Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
are you still at the devil's house?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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