It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
