my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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