i jhust puked up my retainher.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
