I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize