Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize