we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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