garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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