Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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