so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
