So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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