listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
