You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
why is half of my head shaved?
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