you would pick up someone in the library
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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