I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he was CRYING into my vagina
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
