I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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