I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
