did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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