You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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