On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I AM VODKA MAN
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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