And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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