please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
