And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize